I feel lost
Have you ever felt like you’re alone in the world? Like nobody gets what you’re going through, you have no one to turn to and even God feels distant? What do you do when He feels so far away? Silent? Disinterested? Have you ever asked, “Where are You, God?” Have you raised your fist and outright blamed him for the situation at hand?
I empathize with you if you have or currently feel this way. These words have come out of my mouth on over one occasion. I have wondered why God seems to have vanished and vacated the premises. It’s confusing, frustrating, and even conflictual. I want to trust, but do not know how. I hear the words of Scripture that I know so well, but they just seem trite… pat answers I’m not interested in. “Where are You, God?” seems logical and relevant. My faith wants to stand up tall, but my reality just wants to pull it down again. Can you relate?
As we ponder this question, let’s explore others who asked it. It might surprise you to know how many biblical characters charged God with the same thing. Even in realizing that, I find comfort. It’s not just me! Many before me have asked the same question – “WHERE ARE YOU, GOD?”
Habakkuk
The first example is Habakkuk, a prophet who spoke hundreds of years before Jesus arrived in Bethlehem. He starts out his book like this:
How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrong doing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds. (Hab 1:2-3 NIV)
Whoa! Don’t hold back Hab! Right out of the gate he is blaming God for not listening, not caring enough to save. Habakkuk implies God must be blind to injustice and indifferent to the strife it causes. These are bold accusations! He is basically saying, “God, where are you in the middle of this mess? If you’re God, stop this, fix this, BE GOD!”
Job
Job, a man well-known for the extreme loss he endured, is our second example. Here you see a glimpse of the depth of his complaint:
“Even today my complaint is bitter;
his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning.
If only I knew where to find him;
if only I could go to his dwelling!I would state my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.” (Job 23:2-4 NIV)
If you are unfamiliar with Job’s story, he lost everything: his children, wealth, livestock, and health. His closest friends criticized and judged him. Even his wife encouraged Job to curse God and die. He refused, even though God had allowed Satan to have his way with him. It seems cruel, doesn’t it? Why would God allow such terrible things to happen to someone so devoted to Him? It’s unfathomable to our small minds how such suffering could be permitted by One with the power to stop it.
Mary & Martha
These ladies are our third and final example of those asking “Where are You, God?” Allow me to set the stage for your understanding of their response:
These women were sisters; their brother was Lazarus. He became ill, and so the sisters sent word to Jesus, asking Him to come. Even though Jesus was only 2 miles away in Jerusalem, He chose to complete other tasks before making the trek. When He arrived in Bethany, Lazarus had already been dead 4 days. Martha met Jesus at the entrance of the village, saying, “’Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.'” (John 11:21 NIV) When they arrived at the siblings’ home, Mary said the same through a veil of tears. Jesus could have been there the same day and healed Lazarus… but He chose the opposite. You can easily hear the question, “Where were You, Jesus? You dropped the ball and now our brother is dead. What on earth?”
There is no easy answer
As we look at these biblical examples, it seems clear to me that suffering is complex. Anyone who says it is black and white or offers a quick fix perhaps has experienced little in the pain department. Here we see injustice, violence, extreme loss and grief. And yet God seems absent. Each of these characters, together with countless others through the ages, has asked the same question, “Where are You, God? I need You!”
Similarly, I have gone a round or two with God over some heavy duty grief in my life. Even years later, the sting of injustice remains, and it threatens to turn me inside out. I have prayed, pleaded, ranted, raged, wept and begged for God to move on my behalf. The answer? “Do you trust me? Do you believe I am enough for you? Will you stay close to me even if this never changes?”
Immediacy & proximity
My initial response to those questions has not always been pretty. I have been stubborn, defiant and disobedient. I have felt entitled to have things done my way, on my timeline. But just like the examples above, I felt safe enough to approach God with my honesty. This is immediacy – together processing the thoughts and feelings in the moment. We do not intimidate God with the intensity of our emotion. He welcomed each of the characters above and was in close relationship with them. He accepted their questions, their grief, their pain. God will accept yours as well.
Not only is immediacy needed in our conversing with God but also proximity in the relationship. We need to stay close. When we accuse God of leaving, we are wrong. God doesn’t change, and if He says He will never leave or forsake, that is the truth. If there is distance between God and I, it’s because I moved. This can be hard to hear, but it is a necessary truth to grapple with. God’s love is everlasting (Psalm 103) and He is faithful to all His promises. (Psalm 145) He is incapable of not loving you and cannot break His word to you. He stays right where He always is and reminds us we need to stay close to receive the blessing of this proximity. We are the sheep who stray, the ones who need to keep a constant eye on the Shepherd to avoid becoming hopelessly lost.
2 choices
As we wrap up, let me ask you two key questions:
- Will you choose anger and accusation, believing that God is less than who you thought He was? Will you blame Him for the pain?
- Or will you instead choose to see the character of God revealed in Scripture and look for how faithful He is even in the storm? Where can you see evidence He is present and working? Will you stay close, believing His way is best even if you don’t understand the whys?
Listen to the words of Jeremiah in Lamentations 3:
I well remember them, [the hardships]
and my soul is downcast within me.
21 Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Jeremiah was no stranger to pain and disappointment. He teaches us is to call truth to mind in a moment of despair. It’s a crucial choice that we have to make over and over in critical moments.
- What do you know to be true? Journal about it.
- Is there a quality of God that you know that you know that you know? Rehearse it.
- What evidence do you have of His faithfulness? Make a list.
- What lies is the enemy wanting you to believe so that you slip further and further away, convincing yourself of God’s temperamental, conditional, untrustworthy love? Expose them through prayer or sharing with another.
If you need help to process your disappointment with God, please consider coaching or therapy. We are qualified, caring professionals who are willing and able to assist you, pointing you to Jesus as your greatest resource.
You are not alone.
