What is Soul Care?
There seems to be a new buzz word floating around these days – soul care. Perhaps because of the book and e-course produced by Rob Reimer, or an increased sensitivity to emotional health due to our world’s condition, but it seems that, on the whole, we are more aware of our soul’s needs.
Dallas Willard, Christian philosopher, defines the soul as:
…the hidden or “spiritual” side of the person. It includes an individual’s thoughts and feelings, along with heart or will, with its intents and choices. It also includes an individual’s bodily life and social relations, which, in their inner meaning and nature, are just as “hidden” as the thoughts and feelings.
With this definition in mind, we can then assume soul care is the intentional, often messy work of tending to our inner world as it relates to the outer. It requires honest evaluation and critical analysis of your mind and heart. What is your identity? Why do you react the way you do? What motivates your behaviour? How do you relate to others? Where are you now compared to where you want to be? What stands in your way? Consistent soul care is crucial for a life filled with joy, passion and freedom, but it might require hard work to get there!
My Journey
Growing up, I had little awareness of my inner world. Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that I ignored my inner world. I didn’t give voice to my sadness, fear, or disappointment, let alone anger or desire. Flying under the radar became my best strategy for happiness. I wanted to be liked by everyone, in trouble with no one, believing this made me an obedient daughter, a generous friend, a submissive wife and a committed Christian.
Consequently, I lived this way for decades, believing there was something noble or servant-hearted about it all. In actuality, I was becoming increasingly unhappy and discontent. I had never learned to process my thoughts and feelings. Sharing the depth of me was far too vulnerable, and it remained locked away from everyone, including myself and God. I knew there must be a better way, but I had no one to show me, no one I saw living it out. Soul care was intriguing but terrifying. I knew my waters ran deep, that faith could be so much more, that intimacy with others existed, but it was foreign to me. For this reason, deep thinking and feeling was attractive, but I could see no path to lead me there.
It Starts With God
My angst led me to God, believing there must be more vitality available to me through faith in Him. Verses like ‘as the deer pants for water so my soul longs after You’ (Ps 42:1) chafed at my heart. I didn’t know what that looked like, but it sounded fabulous. “My soul longs after You…God, how do I do this?” Without knowing it, I was asking for Him to teach me intimacy with Him, which would lead to a deep dive into soul care.
For Christ-followers, the primary place for the care of our souls is at the feet of Jesus. Psalm 23 is a perfect example of this:
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake. (Ps 23:1-3 NIV)
Identity
“The Lord is my shepherd” implies that we are sheep, needing leadership, direction and care. The sheep belong to the shepherd. An ear tattoo or tag reveal this ownership to anyone who takes a closer look. As a believer in Jesus, my heart is stamped with the Holy Spirit, revealing that I am not my own, but His. This is my identity! I have purpose and calling as one of His children. It’s not about my ability, good looks or the weight on the scale. Neither is it about my performance at work, home or church. I am a child of God, loved unconditionally and lavished with His grace and mercy each day. When I stand in that truth, somehow insecurity and the desire to protect myself seem to lessen. My soul can receive the care my shepherd wants to give. I lack nothing beside Him.
Proximity
As I picture this pastoral scene, I envision the shepherd surrounded by sheep. They are close, eager for His care, listening for His voice. If any of them wander off, they cannot receive the attention and gentle guidance He offers. In my unknown quest for soul care, I realized how often I was off on my own, doing life in solo mode, following my wisdom and vision. I needed to stay close in order to hear His voice and take His hand, trusting for Him to lead me. Where are you in relation to the shepherd?
Nourishment
In the same way we need healthy, nutrient-dense food for our bodies to thrive, so do our souls. What are you feeding on these days? Is your spiritual and emotional diet made up of garbage that offers little nutrition, leaving you sluggish and malnourished? Here the shepherd promises He will lead us to green pastures – lush, green, rich food where we can feast. He does not take us to a sandy desert where we munch on the occasional stalk of dry grass. In His word, we find truth that works deep into our souls if we allow it. What place does Bible-reading have in your daily life? Do you interact with it, allowing the Spirit to change you with its message? Can you express your love and worship of Him as you do? Can you be honest about what stirs in you?
Rest
How much time do you spend alone, away from distraction and productivity? Are you able to slow down enough to give yourself time to process all that you are experiencing? Can you be still in the presence of God long enough to enjoy His renewal? The shepherd wants to lead us beside still waters. It’s a non-negotiable in soul care. Just like our physical bodies cannot survive without water, neither can our soul. We need to make time to be still with God and invite Him to speak to us. He will not compete for our attention, but He will meet us every time we draw near. (James 4:8) It is an unhurried, gentle dance that offers fresh perspective and rich reward.
What Fills Your Tank?
Besides these spiritual requirements for soul care, it is crucial to understand the practical component as well. I believe God provides these good things for precisely this reason. He created us for a wealth of experience and emotion. He created immense beauty for us to enjoy and interact with.
So what fills your tank? A weekend away with your partner or friends? Similarly, a date night which includes your favourite food, activity or intimate affection might do you well. Do you need to create something? Perhaps it’s exercise or an adventure that does it. How about a good book or a deep conversation with someone who appreciates the same? Maybe a massage or time at the spa? Or a clean, uncluttered home as well as fresh baking on the counter? The possibilities are endless, but to know what fills you up is part of good soul care. It is not selfish or indulgent to make time for these things, but instead, good medicine that will serve you well!
What’s Next?
- Think about your current soul care regimen. Are you thriving? Or are there areas of lack? Be willing to ask yourself hard questions.
- Where are you in proximity to God? What do you need in order for you to step closer? What stands in the way?
- Schedule time for stillness, reflection, meditation, gratitude, worship and prayer
- Plan activities that fill your tank – go for regular walks, connect with family and friends in meaningful ways etc.
- Equally important, eliminate or minimize activities that empty your tank. What can replace them?
- Consider coaching to help you determine and follow through on soul care goals.
- Therapy may be a good option if you cannot move past trauma or behavioural hurdles.
We are all on this road together. I pray you can take even a small step forward in soul care today. You are not alone.
