Ugh…why do I do that?
Do you ever feel you’re a victim to your desires or you have little choice in some things you do? ‘It just happened’ or ‘I have no idea how I ended up here?’ Even the apostle Paul says in Romans 7, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” It’s something we all experience at some point and its roots deserve some attention. Today we will examine what it means to be double-minded by continuing to learn from James in the New Testament.
Double-minded
Last week we defined double-minded as being divided in your interests or loyalties, wavering, two-faced or half-hearted. We looked at James’ challenge to pray without doubting and to be a doer of the word rather than hearing it and walking away. These struggles gain momentum when we vacillate between God’s desires and our own. We become double-minded when we attempt to serve two masters. And to be fair, double-mindedness may not be evident in every area of your life. Maybe there is a solitary area in your thought life where you compromise and allow your desires to take over. That may be lust over a variety of things: food, sex, material things, vanity, perversity, comfort. You may even feel led by the Holy Spirit in most areas of your life but in this one thing, you give it time and attention.
Selective Obedience
I hesitate to write about this because I am guilty! If I’m honest, I don’t want to admit that I wilfully disobey or give in to my selfish desires. But we’re getting real, right? Everyone falls in this category. 1 John 1:8 says, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” My pride has kept me in the dark. As a young woman, I compared myself to others and justified my behaviour as ‘less bad’ and therefore acceptable. I have given myself much room to find comfort in a myriad of ways when I feel alone, unknown or unseen. Healthy coping is necessary, but when it takes the place of God in my life, I become double-minded. I am serving both myself and God.
James 2: 8-11(ESV) says:
8 If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.9 But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors.10 For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.11 For he who said, “Do not commit adultery,” also said, “Do not murder.” If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law.
Unintentional vs. Deliberate
Look at verse 10: “For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become guilty of all of it.” This proves we all fall short, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we are double-minded. It is important to distinguish between unintentional sin and that which is done deliberately. This is highlighted for us in Psalm 19 (NIV).
12 But who can discern their own errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.
Looking back to James’ words, his examples show duplicity in willful sin. Are there traps you repeatedly step into? You know it’s wrong; it is unhealthy or hurtful, but you push ahead? What will it take to lay it down and allow God to take its place? How can you move toward change so you are not double-minded? My journey has shown me how much I rely on myself. I said I was deeply devoted to the Lord and wanted to live surrendered to Him, but in reality, I was serving myself. I chose fear over trust, comfort over obedience. And I gave in to these habits repeatedly. I could not have admitted my guilt easily, but now I want to call it what it is: double-minded sinfulness. God wants no part of it.
Scriptural Evidence
Isaiah 29:13 And the Lord said: ‘Because this people draw near with their mouth and honour me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me…’
Psalm 66:18 If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened.
James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
1 John 3:4-6 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness. You know that he appeared to take away sins, and in him there is no sin. No one who abides in him keeps on sinning; no one who keeps on sinning has either seen him or known him.
These words convict me and I am thankful for the Spirit’s voice whispering tenderly in my ear. He reminds me of these words:
2 Cor. 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Eph. 2:8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God
Heb. 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
What now?
So how do we move from here? What do we do once we recognize our double-minded behaviour? The first step is conversation with God. We cannot change ourselves when it comes to the heart. That is God’s speciality, however. He delights in receiving us and showing us the way forward. God doesn’t condemn us for our mistakes and failure, but invites us to bring it to him. He accepts that we will be messy, but he wants our dependence in the midst of it.
Psalm 25: 8-10 (ESV)
8 Good and upright is the Lord;
therefore, he instructs sinners in the way.
9 He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.
10 All the paths of the Lord are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
Next, it requires accountability. Change is hard, especially when it involves our deepest motivations. The word of God is my greatest ally when I am attempting to course-correct. The Spirit uses those words to remind me in a moment of what is right and true. If my heart is soft and open, I willing heed the warning and am led on the right path. Beyond the word and the Spirit himself, there may be people in your life with whom you can be accountable. What a gift! Share your struggle and ask for their inquiry into your process. When I expose my duplicity, I am motivated toward living differently!
Finally, you may require help to walk forward with confidence. Coaching may be a great option for you. Accountability and encouragement are integral to the coaching relationship. Contact me if you are interested in finding out more. Therapy may also be a great option for you if you feel there are deeper issues that stand in the way of your growth. My friends at Mercy Seat Ministry would love to support you in your journey.
Prayer
Father, I come to you in confidence, knowing that you delight to hear from us. We need you, Lord; we are broken and lost without you. Show us where we are double-minded and choose ourselves over you. Break the chains that bind us, the lies that ensnare us. Help us live honestly before you and turn from the duplicity that you hate. Thank you that your mercy is new every morning and you accept us when we acknowledge our need of you. Please give us courage as we seek out your path. Take us by the hand and lead us Lord.
