A Hard Road
How often have you been frustrated at the time it takes for something to change? It seems you’ve been hoping and praying for years with no apparent shift in the situation or relationship. Maybe you’ve given up, believing there is no point; it’s a waste of time. When people quickly say, ‘Just wait on God, ‘ it is both confusing and infuriating. You’re not alone with these thoughts. It is likely we’ve all felt similar things on our own journeys.
My experience with waiting has been filled with pain, angst, frustration and bitterness. For years I cried out to God time and again, begging Him for change. Accusation landed squarely at my feet, and despite my best attempts to explain myself, the damning words stood firm. I wracked my brain for anything I could apologize for, wanting to make it right. Even though I was ready and willing, it wasn’t enough. In my desperation, I turned to the Lord and asked Him to intervene. I was convinced the sincerity of my intentions and the purity of my desires would achieve the outcome I hoped for. But years later, I battle resentment.
Scripture References
What does it mean to wait on God? With many scriptural passages referencing this concept, it seems prudent to take a good look at it.
Isaiah 40:31 “…but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles; run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.”
Psalm 27:13-14 “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!”
Lamentations 3:25 “The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.”
Psalm 130:5-6 “I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning.”
Psalm 40:1 “I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.”
Passive Waiting
I’m sure I read some of these passages at the height of my desperation. It made sense to my compliant persona to do just as they said. I laid my requests before God, miserably attempted to not fret about it, and figuratively sat on my couch waiting for the deliverance I believed was mine. Some days I felt much peace as I brought myself under His sovereign authority. Other days I was filled with anger – some of it righteous, most of it motivated by fear and justification. In the midst of the oscillation, however, one thing remained: paralysis.
What held me captive was my passivity. I wrongly assumed these Scriptures were telling me that trust in God meant literally waiting for Him to act while I behaved well. Don’t get me wrong – there is absolutely a time when we need to stop and give God space to act, but in the broad sense, He is not calling us to a life of passivity. The negative spiral often associated with this approach can devastate. It releases as a toxic poison, infecting the user with cynicism as he/she waits for the outcome they think is deserved. This is not what God intends as He asks us to wait on Him.
Active Waiting
What then? Is there an alternative to passive waiting? Henri Nouwen, a famous theologian, said this:
Active waiting implies being fully present to the moment with the conviction that something is happening where we are and that we want to be present to.
Active waiting is intentional. It looks at the situation and seeks to understand what is the appropriate next step. Sometimes it will be nothing, but most times there are moment-by-moment steps we can take to ease the angst of ‘when?’ We engage in this activity in practical ways every day.
Example #1
- Growing a garden – It takes time and patience to harvest a crop from seeds sown. From the time of planting in spring to the reaping in late summer or fall, much waiting is required. If the gardener sat by and did nothing, good could still come from it. BUT how
much better would the final result be if that gardener was active in his/her waiting? Watering, amending the soil, regular weeding, thinning, pruning, removing rot and pests… these are crucial for a bountiful crop. The gardener recognizes there is much to do while waiting for that first tasty morsel.
Example #2
- Recovery after injury – Over the summer, I was training to run my first half marathon. I officially began my training on June 1, intending to run my ‘race’ on Sept 1, 12 weeks later. But on a beautiful Sunday 10 weeks into the 12, my ankle decided it had had enough and I was sidelined. I thought I could rest for a few days and get back to it, but there was not a chance I could keep on without further injury. For a week I did very little other than rest. But quickly, I decided there was more to do than just sit on the couch waiting for time to pass. I went to physio and actively began doing what I could with stretching and band exercises. While waiting for my training to resume, I was active in strengthening the overworked muscles surrounding my ankle. I also researched this type of injury, consulted my doctor and took meticulous care to ensure the best recovery possible. Perhaps my ankle could have healed while wrapped in ice on my couch, but what toll would it have taken? My mental health would have plummeted, not to mention my ability to carry out familial, relational and vocational responsibilities. As a result, I would have been irritable, resentful and unpleasant to be around. Instead, despite moments of discouragement, I have a recovery plan and hold hope that I will complete the 21 km in spring.
What now?
With this in mind, how do we apply this skill to waiting on God? Just like the garden or my healing process, there are uncontrollables in your situation as well. That is likely why you are praying so diligently in the first place! Whether you are a day or a decade into your vigil, I commend you for stepping out in faith. To help you move forward in action rather than toxic passivity, ask yourself these questions:
- What is my tendency – passivity or action? If action-oriented, do I ever overstep to hurry things along?
- Is my thinking regarding this situation unhelpful, even toxic? Am I ruminating on things that only cause me to spiral deeper?
- What can I focus on instead?
- What is my expectation of God? Am I able to communicate my desires and then release the results to Him?
- Is there a positive action I can take? Are there any movable pieces in this scenario?
- What can I learn? Am I willing to accept what God may want to teach me?
- Can I surrender my agenda, even though it feels nearly impossible to do so?
- Is there something I can add to my life to bring joy and purpose as I wait?
- Do I need help in moving ahead? Coaching or therapy is available.
More Scripture
As you think on these questions, run them through the lens of scripture. What does waiting on God mean for you today?
1 Peter 5:6 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you”
Isaiah 33:2 “O Lord, be gracious to us; we wait for you. Be our arm every morning,
our salvation in the time of trouble.
James 1:12 “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.”
Psalm 52:9 “I will thank you forever, because you have done it.
I will wait for your name, for it is good, in the presence of the godly.
Psalm 37:7-8 “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, and 
forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.”
Lord, we hear these words and acknowledge that we need Your help. Give us courage to surrender to you, whether we need to give up passivity or allow You space to act. We are messy people and we don’t like to wait. Grow godly character in us as we pursue patience and endurance. We aim to trust You more. Thank you for Your lavish grace and mercy toward us.
